Remus' Differences
by emuroo
Summary: Remus writes about all the things that make him different. Part of the Reflections Series, but you don't have to read them in order. Deathly Hallows spoilers. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: Any recognizable people, places, things, or events don't belong to me. I know it's disappointing, but that's how it is.

Dedication: To Crimson Courreges for suggesting a Reflection about Remus.

Notes: This story is set in between the death of James and Lily and when Remus starts teaching at Hogwarts.

Remus' Differences

I am different. Different in so many ways. Some that are obvious, some that are hidden. I have decided that this is going to be a list of the ways that I am different.

1. I am different because I am a werewolf. That one is pretty obvious, isn't it? This difference is one of the most obvious, at least to those who know me. I was lucky to go to Hogwarts. Too bad I'm not lucky enough to get many jobs.

2. I am different because I am poor. This one is sort of because of the werewolf thing, but it still deserves to be stated. It makes other wizards look down on me, makes them think that there is something wrong with me, that I am lazy. They don't know that I was one of the best students in my year at Hogwarts. They don't know that the only reason I'm unemployed is because I have to tell every prospective employer what I am. Few people want to hire me once they know.

3. I am different because I like to read. This one isn't such a big deal now that I'm out of school, but I think it is important enough to be included. It really is shocking how little emphasis our society places on academic achievement and learning. Reading is really just a small part of it, but anyone who enjoys it is laughed at, called a bookworm, as though it is a bad thing.

4. I am different because I am shy. I know that there are many other shy people, but it makes life hard. It is hard to meet people and make friends. I have learned over the past few years that friends are important. You don't realize how precious something is until it is gone.

5. I am different because I am not a traitor, nor am I dead. I know that many people fall into this category, but not many of those who were once my friends do. Somehow, within the space of about twenty-four hours my world was destroyed. No, I'm not being over-dramatic.

Let me explain. I had four very close friends. James and Lily Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black. James Sirius, Peter and I were especially close. At school we called ourselves the Marauders and had nicknames for each other. James was Prongs, Sirius was Padfoot, Peter was Wormtail, and I was Moony.

The nicknames have an amazing story behind them. When I went to Hogwarts I was told not to tell anyone what I was. They could not know that I changed into a monster once a month, my parents said, or they would tell everyone and I'd have to leave school. I was terrified when James Sirius and Peter told me that they knew. I thought they were going to hurt me. But instead they decided that they wanted to help. They studied for years, and then they did something so difficult that only a few wizards each century manage it. I'm not sure that anyone else has done it when they were so young. They became animagi. This way they could stay with me during transformations and stop me from hurting myself. James was a stag, so we called him Prongs, Sirius, a dog, was christened Padfoot, Peter as a rat was Wormtail, and I was a werewolf, so I became Moony.

They were true friends. Or so I thought. Wow, that looks so cliché! However, it _is_ true.

In seventh year Lily joined our group of friends. She had finally agreed to go out with James, and this led to us all spending a lot of time together.

During the war there was a lot of suspicion. We all suspected the others of being spies. None of us wanted to believe it, but it had to be true, because somehow the other side was getting information. Then we found out that Lily, James, and Harry (have I mentioned him? He was their son) were in danger. They decided to use the _fidelius_ charm to hide, and chose Sirius as their secret keeper. He was so loyal that they thought he would never betray them.

Halloween proved them wrong. Sirius told He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named where to find them. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named killed Lily and James and gave Harry a lightning-bolt scar.

Then Peter tracked down Sirius. He was angry that he had betrayed us, and decided that he would kill Sirius, or so I assume. He must have been insane with grief and fury, or else he would have known that he couldn't in a duel against Sirius.

Well, he didn't win. Sirius killed him and a load of muggles, and then blew up a street. He was taken to Azkaban.

A list of my friends and me goes like this.

James Potter: Dead.

Lily Potter: Dead.

Peter Pettigrew: Dead.

Sirius Black: Convicted Murderer. In Azkaban.

Remus Lupin: Alive. Alone.

6. I am different because I, unlike many, do not expect to ever recover from the wreck the Dark Lord made of my life. How can you recover when everything you ever loved is gone?

7. I am different because I had closer friends than most ever get.

8. I am different because although I still breathe and walk and talk, my life is over. It ended the day that Sirius Black betrayed Lily and James Potter. It ended when the boy had trusted proved he was a man capable of murder. My life ended when the brotherhood of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs was broken.

Author's note: This is part of a series called Reflections. They are about characters reflecting on a bunch of different things. There are five more, one about Luna, called Luna's Wishes, one about Snape entitled Snape's Dreams, one about Lily called Lily's Fears, one about George called George's Not-Tears, and one about James called James' Worries. I am asking for suggestions of characters whose reflections you want to see. I will dedicate the story to you if you suggest a character, as well as sending you a message when I put the story up. Please be nice and give me suggestions. I promise to respond to every review.


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